Life of Refugees

No one leaves home unless home is the mouth of a shark.

A seven-year-old girl just awoke from her nightmare; people were killed in the streets, there wasn’t a safe sanctuary anywhere, going to school was a life-threatening experience, hospitals lacked the necessary resources to attend to the needs of the wounded, and anarchy reigned. The girl realized that her nightmare, the same one she was having for a week now, was reality. A harsh reality that would force this young girl to flee her native country, changing her life forever. That following night, she along with her family were smuggled into an unknown place by truck.

Here, They become Refugees now. What Its their fault?

The Political conflict leads to their migration.

An essential component of that experience is the psychosocial impact resulting from conditions of refugee life that challenge survival. In this column, we attempt to do justice to the reality of refugee life and the emerging responses by psychologists to the needs of refugees. We first frame the extensiveness of refugees worldwide, then present a moving and provocative first-person account of encountering a refugee camp, and finally, discuss some emerging responses by psychologists to the trauma of what are so often debilitating circumstances.

Teenage Love

Rahul was a 17-year-old good-looking, handsome and charming boy. His color was fair, his face was cute. He was at an age where the attraction for the opposite sex is at its peak. He used to go to a Park daily, nearby to his home. There he saw Mona for the first time, sitting in the grass with her bestie Payal.

Mona was a 14-year-old girl, who lost his father in her childhood, and now her mother was in a relationship with another guy whom she did not like a bit. There was no love in her life, and that was the thing she was searching for in her life. Rahul fell in love(Actually the infatuation) with Mona at first sight. At the first sight, he smiled at Mona, she smiled back, he waved his hand to her, she waved back. That smile and wave back gave him the confidence to go to Mona and Talk.

Since then a series of meetings and talks started at the park. Soon they started meeting at Rahul’s place, starting along with Payal, and alone afterward. For Rahul, Mona was something to appease his appetite for Sex, but for Mona, he was the man she wanted to marry in the future. Since the first day of the relationship, Rahul was clear to Payal that he would not be going to marry her, but poor Payal used to believe, that one day she would make Rahul realize true love.

After 3 years of relationship, now Payal became 17, more mature. Now she had attained the wisdom of life, and she was no more a 14-year-old naive girl. She was now clear about, what she wanted, which was either an assurance of marriage or no further relationship. Rahul was as clear as always that he was not going to marry her. Finally, they broke up. Rahul went to Delhi for higher studies and Mona also shifted to another city as her mother got married to the guy she was in a relationship with.

Moral of Story:

As a teenager, we are filled with feelings of infatuation with the opposite sex. And many times, we mistakenly interpret them as love. Hence, until and unless we attain an age, where we can differentiate between love and infatuation, we should refrain from any such relationships. The best relationship at that age is of friendship. A sexual relationship in childhood can deeply hurt you, and that hurt can be for a lifetime. Our teenage is the time of our life, that shapes our whole life. At that time we should concentrate on learning and preparing for our future

Love with a classmate

I never dreamed that this would ever happen to me. Being so shy and having grown up with the same people for 13 years of my life, I never once thought that I would literally fall in love until I was at least in college, away from my small town. But I did, and I have.
I’m a senior in high school, and I can definitely say that this year has been one of the most riveting school years of my life. My grades have gotten from ok to excellent, which is great, and i have made fine friends & have become a more confident person. But, as you’ll soon find out, it has not been all sunshine, either.
Last fall, since I love acting, I decided to be in the school’s fall play, and that meant spending nearly every day with the girl that I am now in love with. She joined, too, and I have nothing but good memories of her and I as we worked with everyone else to get the performance on. Back then, I had nothing more than a major crush on her. I didn’t think about her every day and night, and pine for her every day and night like I do now. I honestly don’t know where these feelings came from. I’ve known this girl ever since kindergarten; like everyone else, I grew up with him. So why the intense feelings?
But it is true that she has attracted me these many years. She seemed to always stand out from every other girls in my grade, with everything that I have always liked so much about her. I have always noticed how gorgeous and sweet she is, but it wasn’t until I started working with her last fall that i realized how much i liked her.

Well, eventually, the play got finished up, and i started to really miss her. Christmas vacation came and went, and when i got back to school after almost 2 weeks of not seeing him or talking with her, I felt this strange ache inside of me. That feeling was nothing compared to what i would feel soon after.
The couple weeks that followed coming back from vacation, i found myself staring at her more and thinking about her more and more…until the school gave out a 3 day break again, and that’s when i felt my life changing. Over the course of those three days off from school, i gradually began to feel this terrible, terrible longing for her. It was so intense, i couldn’t believe it; i had never felt that way before in my life. That was the first time that I considered that i had fallen in love with her. But i would not believe my feelings, and i felt convinced that if i just saw her again when i got back to school, everything would be cleared up and i wouldn’t feel that way. I thought it was all fake.
Wishful thinking.
When I got back to school and i saw her, i felt those awful feelings nudging for some air, but i wouldn’t give it to them…I wouldn’t feel that way for a girl i have known my whole freaking life. But as you can probably guess, i did anyway, and so started the most hellish experience that I have ever known. I hope everybody reading this doesn’t ever go through the same hell that I am, because it sucks so bad.
For seven agonizing weeks now, I have stared at him, longed for him, thought about her-more than i have ever thought about anything in my life. I would pay money for him to be happy, to be secure and safe for the rest of his life; i would pay money to see her anywhere, anytime; i would gladly take a bullet for her. I have realized that he is my dream girl…..and i know that she doesn’t love me back. To her, i am just a classmate, another boring, non-important classmate. But i dream about him almost every night, i worry about him….i love her with all that i have. But she doesn’t know. She has no idea. And it doesn’t help that only a couple acquaintances of mine know this about me. It doesn’t help that she is so popular and beautiful, and we are in our freakin last year of school, and in 2 months, i might not ever see him again, because we would have gone our separate ways after graduating. But God, i want hem in my life. I want hem more than i have ever wanted anything before. I DO NOT want to lose hem; i don’t care if i have to wait, because i will, but what if i wait too long? What if she gets engaged with someone else without ever knowing how i feel about her? that cannot happen. I am terrified, and i mean terrified of losing her.

True Meaning of Love

We love because it’s the only true adventure

Love means giving them the full range of motion, and space to exist in their lives. It means accepting that what we have will one day fade away — due to death or change.

It means recognizing them as other people not responsible for our emotions — or emotional wellbeing. It means managing our own lived experience just as much as we allow them theirs. It is allowing them space to make mistakes, to be imperfect (forever), to have space to live their own lives that are separate from ours.

To love them — fully — is to appreciate them each day. Give them our care and compassion and attention. It means seeking to understand their viewpoint, empathizing with their struggles, celebrating their wins, and supporting their journey. It means listening, touching gently, and treating their experience with the same kindness as our own. It means caring without crushing or clinging.

1. Love sincerely

You will get back exactly what you give — and what you expect, and demand. You set the standards for how you want to be treated based on how you view and treat yourself, and then how you view and treat others.

Understands that this goes both ways

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.

But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable. – C.S. Lewis

The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.

Victor Hugo

Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. This is from Howard Washington Thurman.

2. Have fun, enjoy all the moments

You will get back exactly what you give — and what you expect, and demand. You set the standards for how you want to be treated based on how you view and treat yourself, and then how you view and treat others.

Be crazy, do not get bored together

Surprise your partner every day with bold and fun ideas. Keep the flame alive.

  • Recreate your first date together
  • Have a fancy night in.
  • Try a new sport.
  • Play to your talents.
  • Take a vacation or weekend getaway
  • Read your lover a bedtime story.
  • Play a video game together.
  • Have an old movie night.
  • Give your partner a bath.
Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless. –Jamie Paolinetti – photo

In good love, there’s nothing “to do” except love one another. Every day. And it doesn’t depend on how we feel, because good, healthy love doesn’t hinge on our feelings; it’s a choice. Every day.

3. Communicate effectively

Every moment we spend with our loved ones is precious and invaluable. That’s where the relationship lives or dies. And a lot of those everyday moments are, for the most part, amazing.

A. Be kind

We love connecting with other people because it makes us happy. And good communication is the key when it comes to positive social interaction.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage. ― Lao Tzu –photo

But what does a healthy conversation look like? How can you avoid over-communicating? And how can you improve communication in a romantic relationship?

One of the most important communication skills is listening. Deep, positive relationships can only be developed by listening to each other (Weger, Castle, & Emmett, 2010).

So if there is no communication in your relationship it may be due to the fact that there was no one truly listening while both of you were just trying to get a point across.

B . Be honest

Do not be selfish

Positive Psychology is all about flourishing in life. Finding solutions rather than trying to understanding problems. And while it is a human need to connect with others, most importantly we need to be connected with ourselves. So are you communicating with yourself as much as you are with others? What are they like, the conversations you have with yourself? Is your inner voice your best friend or your worst critic?

The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. That’s what I hope to give you forever.”

The Notebook

From troubled dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a horrible vermin. He lay on his armour-like back, and if he lifted his head a little he could see his brown belly, slightly domed and divided by arches into stiff sections. The bedding was hardly able to cover it and seemed ready to slide off any moment.

Be open minded

Open and clear communication can be learnt. Some people find it hard to talk and may need time and encouragement to express their views. These people may be good listeners, or they may be people whose actions speak louder than their words.

You can help to improve your communication by:

  • building companionship – sharing experiences, interests and concerns with your partner, and showing affection and appreciation
  • sharing intimacy – intimacy is not only a sexual connection. Intimacy is created by having moments of feeling close and attached to your partner. It means being able to comfort and be comforted, and to be open and honest. An act of intimacy can be as simple as bringing your partner a cup of tea because you can tell they are tired
  • being on the same page as your partner. It’s important that you and your partner are both in agreement on key issues in your relationship, such as how finances are distributed, what key goals you have and your parenting styles.